My Identity

“Yet to all who did receive Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.” John 1:12-13

Like you, I wear many hats. I wore the “wife” hat for 41-1/2 years, and I would have gladly worn it for many more years.

As I look at my wedding ring, I still feel married and that somehow I will always be Doug’s wife. But, legally I am no longer married, and I am now wearing the “widow” hat.

At times I have really struggled with this new role. I really enjoyed being married and being Doug’s wife. It was a natural extension of who I am, and I never expected it to end as it did.

Our great God understands this new hurt, and He has been reminding me that first and foremost I am His child. I am a daughter of the King and always have been…before I was born, before I met Doug, and before I became his wife. The Lord has been with me at every stage of my life, and He will be with me at this new stage of my life.

Every other role I now play in life (mother, Mimi, sister, friend) stems from this central truth. These other roles are important, and my role as wife was also important. But none of them comes close to the unchangeable and eternal position I have in Christ. 

Because I was chosen by God and have received Christ as my personal Lord and Savior, I am eternally loved, eternally provided for, and eternally forgiven. In Christ, He has made me a new creation, and He sees me as His masterpiece:

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Ephesians 2:10

It doesn’t matter how I see myself, this is how God sees me. Sometimes I feel a bit lost since my role as wife has ended. But, God still sees me as His masterpiece, and He is helping me adjust to my new reality.

Above all, I am God’s child. Romans 8:16-17 tells us that we are joint heirs with Jesus. Because of what Jesus did for me on the cross, I have an eternal standing and position that will never change even as my earthly life changes. 

I had that standing when I received Christ as a child and my primary roles were daughter, sister, and friend. I had that standing as a young wife before I had children. I had that standing when I became a mother and as I have become a grandmother. I have that standing now as a widow. 

My standing with God is permanent regardless of the many changes in my life.

Dear One, are you struggling with your new hat of “widow” or “widower”? Take that hurt to the Lord and allow Him to show you that you are so much more than the roles you have in this life. Most of all, you are His dearly loved child. Embrace your identity in Christ and trust that He is with you even as your roles on earth change. 

*Elevation Worship: “Jireh”

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Let’s Pray

“For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by Him we cry, ‘Abba, Father.’ The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.”

Romans 8:15-16

Dear Heavenly Father,

I am so grateful that I am Your child. I was Your child as soon as I received Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior. And, I will be Your dearly loved child for all eternity.

Thank You for seeing how hard it is for me to see myself as a widow/widower. You know how much I enjoyed being married and how strange it feels to no longer be part of a couple. Strengthen me when sad feelings bubble up.

Please help me to embrace being Your child above all other roles that I may play in this life. Thank You that You are healing every part of me and conforming me to the image of Your Son.

In Your Loving Name I pray,

Amen